So I’m writing this story about a female casanova, the main point being to question and reverse gender roles. Not gender itself, but the artificial assumptions about the ramifications of gender. And I want to write about how my protagonist is the actor in sexual situations. She initiates, she sets the boundaries of the relationship, she bestows her commitment sparingly as she sees fit, ect. But most of these distinctions are about what happens getting to sex, and the idea I’m playing with is this; should I extend this kind of interaction to the act of sex itself? I like this idea in theory; breaking the myth that because women are entered and men do the entering that the men must necessarily be causing effect on the woman they are having sex with. This is a deeply ingrained concept, which is not entirely without truth. The myth being that it MUST be that way because of the physical act of sex. So I started writing my first actual sex scene, in which the protagonist is effecting sensation in a man. I have run into several problems as I have started this process. Some of them are more practical problems (like the non-literary nature of all the synonyms for ass), but also a pretty major philosophical issue.
I don’t want to write smutty grossness that will only be leered over, fantasized about, or induce disgust. I am not writing this scene or any of the ones that may or may not follow it simply to thrill or stimulate my reader, I’m making a statement about gender roles in the place where they most closely intersect. I have no doubt what my conservative parents (or parents-in-law, for that matter) would think about this particular endeavor. And while I generally have found that that brand of conservatism sacrifices beauty and truth to cleanliness, there is a line that can be crossed there, and I’d rather stay on this side of it.