Pregnancy began as a strange phenomena in a body I understood very well. I could tell what was happening, what was changing, because I was very familiar with the functions and feelings of this body I live in. We’ve become good friends over the years, and lived in a wonderful harmony until recently.
As the pregnancy has progressed, my understanding of my body has blurred and now feels completely lost. I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and recognized nothing. The way my body aches and moans is completely incomprehensible to me. My body wants foods I don’t like, refuses things I love, tires without warning, hurts without discernible reason. My vision is literally blurred, requiring me to wear glasses all day, making my own reflection even less familiar. My legs, once so muscular and capable, now flatly refuse to carry me with any grace. But mostly, my hips are bent out of their natural shape and no longer perform their intended function. The pain this causes makes a major obstacle of tasks like walking and sleeping.
Since I really don’t want to live like that for three more months, I sought the help of a chiropractor. I do not love doctors, but I love this woman. She slid her hands over my bent bones and swollen muscles and made sense of them. When I’d given up on my body, planned to just wait this alien period out and hope it snapped back into place later, this doctor categorized and defined what was happening with each joint and bone.
The pain and swelling is not entirely gone after her first session of ministrations, but it is much improved. More than that though, I have a little hope that my body is still in here somewhere. I might understand her again, at least a little bit. And really, I want to understand her, especially now. Now when she is completing her most magnificent work.